i'm having my normal "awaiting call-backs anxiety". and i dislike it strongly.

i want to do some things before this year is over. i want to make a difference in someone's life. plus, i want someone to make a difference in my life. i want to learn to not be so affected by what other people think, and i want to be less judgmental of others, when i say that i hate that quality in people. i want to learn that first impressions aren't everything. but most of all, i want to fall in love with love all over again.

let's dance...

EDIT--
my nerves are going about one trillion miles an hour.

i am a lot of things
but a pretty girl is not one of those things.

i am not one of those girls who beauty comes so effortlessly for.  i don't turn heads or stop the breath of bystanders that are just walking along.  i don't have people envy me, or wish they were me.  i can do a lot of things, and being one of those girls is ont one of them.

i'm afraid of this sudden realization.

i'm afraid that everything i ever want will be taken by one of those girls who are so easily dazzling.  i afraid that all they have to do is give that person one glance and my wishes will be stepped on and crushed underneath their delicate smile that hypnotizes everyone but me.

i'm jealous of them.  i'm jealous of the way they captivate people and instantly gain the admiration of those that are around them.  i'm jealous of the times when people stare at them from nearby cars or stop just to talk to them in the hallways.  i'm jealous that being wondrous or amazing is something they just do and don't even have to think about.

i'm friends with pretty girls.
and it's difficult to get through the day sometimes.
it's actually exhausting to be around them.

i'm sorry.
i'll stop being an irritating person.

EDIT
so auditions are next week.
this is going to be interesting.

so.

sorry corrie, i hate paris hilton.

she's a ho.  and stupid.  and ugly.  and retarted.
gag.

tomorrow is the last day of summer.
make yours count.
thursday.
welcome back to hell kids.

edit:
it's 7:00 AM and I'm leaving in 5 minutes for school.
so far it seems like it's going to be a good year.
Sara and Costello are amazing.

screaming at purple lightning last night was fun-tastic.